I FEEL LIKE DYIN'

I FEEL LIKE DYING

No...really.

My life is so conflicted right now. I don't know weather to push or pull. I keep searching for a means to an end, but I see no end in sight. Wow, I’m really not a kid anymore. No one can take care of me but me.

Here is some GOOD news for you:

I’m at least $600 behind on my car payment, and the only reason they haven’t repossessed it yet is because I didn’t give them my new address when I moved back to Texas nor did I file for a change of address. I’m hoping that if I devote my next 3 or 4 checks solely to the dealership they’ll overlook this little mishap and let me keep my car once I’m caught up.

Rent is due in a week which is $450 that I don’t have. My name isn’t on the lease, so technically I’m not obligated to pay but if I don’t who else will? I’m the only person with a job in the household currently.

I have to take wretched COLD showers every morning before work because we haven’t paid the gas bill and it’s been cut off for nearly a month. Cold showers for a month!

Electricity just got cut off. That’s another $100 bill I don’t have the money to fork over for right now. Electricity is one of the most important bills, and I can’t pay it. I got paid today, but I don't know which priority is TOP priority.

And on top of everything I have to constantly bitch, or be bitched at about something. Wait, did I said I had good news? How’s that for a struggle? I just wanted to give you people some real insight to what I go through. So don’t judge me. Good day.

EDIT*/ 4:26PM It's amazing how I start writing a blog with absolutely nothing to say and words start to flow like water. All the trapped emotions begin to pour out of me, but when you ask me what's wrong I simply reply "nothing."