Synchronization.

Dear Chris; If only we could synchronize our hearts they way you synchronize a watch. How dare you try and break a bond so strong. Why won't you just give me what I want? I'm so tired of fighting with you — trying desperately to get my point across — and then running back into your arms. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose you, but I want much more than what you're able to offer me. I want 100% of you. If you can't offer that now, after 3 years, when will you ever? I done waiting. I have to move on with my life. Don't try and stop me from searching for my happiness, if you don't have what it takes. Let me get back to loving myself unconditionally the way I loved you. Let me rebuild the bridges I've burned, and reestablish the lines that I've crossed in order to keep you. Let me reclaim my independence and stand up for what the fuck I believe in. Let me learn, grow, and be free so that I can mold myself into the person that I'm supposed to be. If you can't handle me being me, just let me go.

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It's a new year and a new me, bitches! I know that sounds cliché, but so far my actions and my words are in sync. I've been working hard to stay out of trouble these past few months and it's starting to pay off. Although stressful (and a bit emotional), I am definitely on the right track and plan on making some significant accomplishments this year. The first of my accomplishments is finally being able to move out of this shoebox I call my apartment. I've outgrown the space — and the memories we've created — and I'm ready for a fresh start. I'll have a roommate which will save tons on living expenses, and I can use that extra cash to invest in my future. Look at me being all self sufficient and shit. I don't need you, Chris. I never have. I've just always wanted you around and it looks like times are changing.