"I have the most beautiful time with you. You are my friend, my enemy, my boyfriend, my lover, my heaven, my hell, my earth, my stars. You make me happy, sad, angry, jealous, joyful, hopeful. You are my muse, I can create things in your presence. I am full of life when I am with you. You give me energy, and you take it away. There is not one thing that I want to do without you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You complete me." (Written on July 16, 2009)
So after almost 3 years of fighting this Love war — one whose outcome I thought was destined to turn out in my favor — it's finally over. Chris and I broke up, and I'm having mixed emotions. I'm happy for my freedom, but it's going to be really hard getting used to life without him around. I can't go back, though. How do I stop myself from calling and texting when I start feeling dependent again? How do I make him realize what he's really lost? How do I get him to understand why I'm so fed up? Is it even worth trying to get him to see or should I just move on and create a life for myself, and myself only? Questions I need answered, and only I can answer them. I guess it's time for me to start "soul searching" and decide what it is that I really want. No rush, I've got plenty of time, right?
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