ZZZZZZZ.

It is cold, and I am tired.

I didn't go to sleep until 5a and I woke up at 9a. I have fallen asleep at my desk a couple of times. Shhhh, don't tell! I'm trying to stay awake, but all hope for Starbucks is ruined — they're closed. Today's work day has been the slowest ever.

In other news, I pampered myself today. I got a mani-pedi, and my eyebrows waxed. Just something I do to feel a little better about myself and kickstart my day. Too bad this day has been a drag. I also went Laptop shopping. Hopefully I find something suitable soon, I would like to start taking some courses online in the near future. I'd also like to invest in a new TV and some home decor. I'd like my apartment to feel homey. I want my pantry and Fridge stocked with groceries, and I don't want to feel like I have to go anywhere for anything. But enough blabbing about stuff that costs money.

In relationship news, things with Chris and I are good — well neutral. We're separated of course. He's lives there, and I'm living here. It's a complicated situation as it's always been so there is no need to dabble in those waters. Changing the subject — I've always liked, or been curious when it comes to being with women and as of the past few months I have had some experiences with women that have opened my eyes. I've had the opportunity to harness my curiosity and confirm my feelings. Although I don't like labels, one might classify me as being bisexual and I am completely okay with that. I find myself more and more attracted to women sexually. I see a girl in the grocery store who before I would have just glanced at and passed by, but now I find myself "checking" her out. I am actually talking to this girl right now. She's really great and seem truly interested in me, but I just can't feel it all the way with her. We don't seem compatible enough, and she doesn't understand why I say there are "no sparks." I am trying to give it a shot with her, but I don't know how long I can keep pretending that I "miss" her, and that I find her "wildly attractive" when in reality I don't. If she just happened to be any other girl (physically) with CLOSE to the same personality I would probably be thrilled about considering a future with her. Call me shallow, but it is what it is. Enough about her, I think you get the idea.

I came to a realization today while I was at the nail salon. "White girls" intimidate me — sexually that is. With their blue eyes, and pretty long hair. Their long legs, perfect ass, and perky titties. I would LOVE to bang a "white chick" but would a white chick love to bang me? Question of the evening. Good night.